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The "I have a ... friend" Defense

We've seen this many times, somebody says or does something that is racist, homophobic, transphobic, or anti-semetic in some way and the truth of that gets pointed out to them. However, rather than apologizing and learning from it, they double down in defense with "I have a ... friend" defense.
Recent posts

Paving it forward with inclusion

My company hosts an annual Women in Tech Experience, a multi-day event with talks, teaching, and other learning opportunities from all regions of the company. As part of that experience, I was asked to do a lightning talk on my experience where people helped with my dreams. Now, obviously, I did not talk about this in the context of career dreams, but much more personally and from the lens of an environment of inclusion. Now that the event is past, I wanted to share the text of my speech, with the names of the guilty redacted. 😊 I was born a little less than a year before the Stonewall Riots, a watershed moment in the development of LGBTQ+ rights. But that was just the beginning of what is still a significant battle for equality almost 52 years later. As I speak here today, across 33 States there are more than 100 pieces of legislation aimed at curtailing trans rights or suppressing our very existence. I live in a world where my right to personal dignity, to be treated with respect, t

Misgendering and deadnaming is violence

  I chose a strong term, violence, for a very good reason...

Transgender Day of Visibility 2021

Every year, on March 31st, we celebrate the lives and achievements of trans people around the world. It's a day for those of us who are visible to tell our stories and, more importantly, to be visible for those who cannot be.

Chasing health

Trans health care is a difficult at the best of times, many Doctors are unaware of the general standards of care ( WPATH ) and how to apply them and so quite often just avoid addressing it. So when it comes to healthcare, trans people often turn to clinics known to be trans supportive.

Hop, Skip, and a Jump

  Yesterday I made the third significant step in my transition and now I wait.

My Gender Perspective

The other day, in a discussion, a member of the group I was with commented, "We're so lucky to have Jo here, she can give us the male perspective." Sigh.