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Doubts and Fears


Doubts, fears, concerns, worries... we all have them. Sometimes they paralyze you, sometimes they don't. Today, I let them stop me. 😥

So, I'm not dressed ultra-feminine today, jean leggings, white top, knee high boots. I did my nails last night, they look pretty good (I'm kind of bad at that normally), and I did my makeup today.

I wanted to get a top for a skirt I bought in London, while on vacation, and so I thought I would go to a mall sort of nearby. I got in the car, drove all the way to the mall, no special looks from anyone when at lights along the way. So, generally, just kind of being observed basically normally.

I got the mall and actually got a spot very close to an entrance to a major store, the one that I actually wanted to go to. I turned off the ignition and sat in the car for a minute or two, several people walked by, nobody gave me any special, or second look.

I started the car and drove home. I honestly don't know why. Was it fear? I wasn't feeling shaky, nor was my heart pounding. Was it doubt? I guess it was.

When I lived in the city, I went out in public with some frequency, not just on Halloween. I got snickers a few times, especially when I was first dipping my toe in the waters, but I stuck with it and did it anyways. I don't know why doubt would get to me now.

It's a long weekend here, I expect to spend it as Joanne for pretty much all of it. Still debating picking up my partner at the airport as Joanne on Monday.

Can I overcome my doubts?

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