Skip to main content

An unexpected healing cry


There is something to be said for an unexpected cry that you had no idea you really needed, but actually did. It's deeply healing and something that was absent from my life before.

I have noted in the past that, since starting HRT, I cry more but that I also laugh more. Essentially I feel like I have been so much more deeply in tune with my emotional state than ever before. What I didn't know, and I don't think you ever really see these coming, is that there can be deeply buried feelings that well up and letting them forth can be important.

So, this comic I saw is not new, it's a few years old now, but this is the first time I have read it. I will give you an appropriate content warning: it is beautiful and it will tug at your heart deeply. It is called Ă©nouement (it's in English, I promise) and I really advise not reading it before anything important.

As I told my mom after I had shared it: that comic tore out my heart, showed it to me and shouted, "See! see!" and then put it back and said, "Now heal!" I cried for half an hour and I'm still fighting back tears.

If I had read this when it came out, I'm sure it would have shattered my egg in the moment. It was everything me in the essence, and even in some of the details!

There was clearly an element of my transition, now and at my age, that I was still coming to terms with emotionally. I wasn't articulating it, but it was there. Lurking. I am really glad this brought this out of me and allowed me to see it. I have lamented starting so late and yet all that has gone before has gone into shaping me today, the person who I am, and I find as I write this that I do, in fact, love the person that I have become. đŸ’œ

Comments

  1. I found crying is not the only thing I notice which is often regulate as a female thing. Things that never used to bother me, now gross me out "oooooo."

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

While you're here, you might like:

Getting to Your O Face on HRT

I recently read an article on The Mary Sue on transfeminine pleasure  and I think about how little we really talk about this concept, as though we're not really entitled to it or something.

Art & The Artist

So, I've posted more than a few times on Facebook about a particular author and the harm she is causing the trans community. More than a few people have made the argument that they can condemn the artist and love the art. Can they?

Yes, I'm envious...

This is the Alice Cos Group , a dance group from China that features only males in their cast. They are all, to put it mildly, simply gorgeous and dammit, I'm just a little jealous! Admittedly, at my current age (let's just say that I go back a few decades and leave it at that) there is zero chance that I would ever be able to pull off the look even remotely as well as they can, but hey, a gal can dream! I'm also really jealous that they actually live a life practically straight out of a Fictionmania story; I would have leapt at such a chance at that age. Ah well, such is the dice of life. Anyways, a sample of their work: