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A "passing" thought...

Do you think about passing? Do you care if you pass? What does it mean when we ask if we pass? Does it matter? Tough questions...

Lucille Sorella asked, the other day, the big question: Do you care about "passing" as a woman? And, as of this post, about 67% of the ladies that responded said yes and that begs the question...

What is passing?

That's a really good question. At one time, I think I used to really believe that it meant that people who saw me had no question in their mind that I was a woman and gave me no second thought as a result. That would be awesome, but it's also pretty unrealistic for many of us and I don't really think it's actually all that necessary.

I think what many of us really want is to be able to go about our day confident that we won't face ridicule, violence, or harassment. That we can go about our business being treated with respect and according to the gender we're presenting in. In fact, regardless of whether or not I'm presenting en femme or en homme, I want to be treated that way!

To me, that is "passing" in all the ways that are really important.

To be fair, though, I think many of us still want to be seen as beautiful ladies when we dress up, especially when we amp up the glamour for the evening. Of course we do. However, I think I have reached that stage where I recognize that I may not always "pass" in the classical sense of the word for our community, but I am generally comfortable that I can usually pass in the manner that matters most to me.

Yes, these are both pictures of me. The first was me playing around with filters on the iMac camera in my original home office location a few years ago. The second goes back a lot of years, to a Toronto Pride parade party. We had a great apartment location, right above Yonge Street and could all watch the parade from the comfort of our place. A friend did my hair and makeup that day. While I could use some padding in the hips, I definitely had a way more feminine waistline. Sigh, no longer.


While you're here, you might like:

Sometimes the stove is hotter than you expected

So, I recently decided that I would dip my toe back into a Q&A site, Stack Exchange's Photography site, where I was once a moderator... turns out, the stove was hot and I got burned by it. Content warning: transphobic slurs in an image.

Isn't that a shame? Well, anyways...

It seems like a neverending stream of hate is directed towards us in the LGBTQ+ community and time and again we're told that it's just a fringe, that the majority supports us. Where is that majority? They feel very absent to me. 

Gender Questing

I want to talk about gender questing as a bit of a follow-on from my recent post about using "identifies as" with respect to gender.