Skip to main content

A Month Away!

In one short month I will be seeing a doctor, for the first time, to discuss HRT options. What a journey to get to this point and, yes, I am nervous.
Nervous, you ask? Of course.

So, here's the thing: after nearly 50 years of fighting myself, I find it to be a hard habit to break. If I was good a that, I would have broken it much sooner.

Here I am, though, in my early 50s, feeling like I'm about to re-enter puberty and it's scary. Is it the right thing? Am I making a mistake? Am I being caught up in my emotions, the time and place we're in?

I do feel some element of my own sense of mortality playing a role here. I am in my 50s. The world is not what it was. I think that is a factor, I'd be lying to myself if I said otherwise. I feel like time is running out for me.

I am a product of my generation's upbringing. I've shrugged away much of the nonsense pseudo-science that surrounded the LGBT community of that day, but your history has a powerful hold on your subconscious mind and that rises, often in my dreams now, it seems.

Well and all, it's a month away. I'm a little anxious, a lot nervous, and feeling giddy and excited at the same time. I guess that's the spice of life, no?

Comments

  1. Hi Joanne, good luck sweetie. When that anxiousness comes try and take some slow deep breathes.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

While you're here, you might like:

I am so angry at the harm

I don't know how else to put it. I am furious.

I will cut people out of my life for this

The Conservative Party of Canada just voted to added blocks on gender affirming medical care for trans kids and to end race-based hiring. I'm done being polite to people in my life when it comes to this.

Bill Mahar is weak

The surest sign of a weak man is a man who feels the need to assert his manliness to the world. Bill Mahar is a weak man.