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T-Shirts and Musings

 A quiet autumn afternoon is a fine time to break out my Cricut, Easy Press, and make a couple of t-shirts and contemplate life a little.

I'm currently in a stealth transition, three months into HRT and only a little more than a handful, outside of our community, are in the know about it. As a result, I lead a weird dual life as I build a presence for the real me and maintain a presence for my public persona. It creates for a strange, and sometimes awkward, mental separation. 

One area this duality manifests is in my efforts in arts and crafts, I don't really post much of that here as it's been well established under my other name, but there are times where the art work that I do isn't something I can readily post there. Such is the case today.

It gets me thinking, however, about how much I am really looking forward to merging these two existences. The real me is coming way more to the fore recently, sometimes a little more than people may realize, but slow and steady this is happening. Today, for example, I posted a picture on Facebook of my new hairstyle, basically burgundy streaks mixed into my hair as an ombré through my ponytail and it looks amazing. Some people get the underlying change here, others do not. My days at work are spent on camera, in Zoom meetings, and what is happening with me stays relatively hidden, for now. It doesn't feel like that is the real world for me anymore.

I'm looking forward to the day that I bring these two together. Today marks the 90th day of HRT for me, tomorrow I go from 2mg Estradiol daily to 4mg, basically the standard dose. It feels so much more real for me now.

As for t-shirts and art? Well, I had a couple of ideas that I wanted to do today, one of which is my work on a digital piece following a great tutorial online, the other is based on similar ideas that I then pulled together in Illustrator. I think I'm rebuilding my t-shirt collection slowly, jeans and t-shirts are unlikely to go out of regular wear for me, so why not make ones I love. Now, here's the result:

So much fun, need to come up with some ideas for other shirts.


While you're here, you might like:

I dropped my links page

Nothing worse than seeing casual transphobia on supposedly trans blogs and sites.

Emotional crashing

I experienced an incredibly strong emotional response today and I am left trying to really understand the origin of it... sharing it helps me think about it.

Yes, I'm envious...

This is the Alice Cos Group , a dance group from China that features only males in their cast. They are all, to put it mildly, simply gorgeous and dammit, I'm just a little jealous! Admittedly, at my current age (let's just say that I go back a few decades and leave it at that) there is zero chance that I would ever be able to pull off the look even remotely as well as they can, but hey, a gal can dream! I'm also really jealous that they actually live a life practically straight out of a Fictionmania story; I would have leapt at such a chance at that age. Ah well, such is the dice of life. Anyways, a sample of their work: