Two months!

Time flies! I wouldn't necessarily say "when you are having fun" with that, but it's actually been pretty good, especially as the weather is getting better!

With two months passing, I am heading back to work as of next week, though I will still be doing the remote for a little while yet as I have midday dilations to perform. I am looking forward to spending more time in the office once my dilation schedule moves to twice a day. I miss that environment, to be honest.

I did see my doctor today. This was actually perfectly timed, but very unintentionally so. I booked this appointment back in October, before I had even a whiff of a date for surgery, and it just happened to be two months after the surgery date which is when the clinic wanted to me to check in with my doctor anyways. Perfect. It was just meant to be. 

Anyways, all good there. Hormones are all in a good spot. No flags because, as I am in the system as female, it assesses my testosterone and estradiol levels as it would for cis women and I am comfortably in normal ranges. Honestly, being back at on HRT and having the levels settle made a huge difference in my mental and emotional state. I think this is way too easily overlooked by surgeons as a consideration for pre-surgical cessation. Yes, I know the latest SOC says cessation is unnecessary, but doctors are still requiring it quite often.

Speaking of my mental state, I'm feeling really good. Yes, I have moments here and there, usually when I need to start dilating, where I am like, "what did I do?" That's a function of the tediousness of dilation and a bit of cabin fever though, for me anyways, and the clinic actually mentioned that it's extremely common in their latest email. They really do have a lot of experience! However, the moments of euphoria are far more frequent because when you see yourself matching what is in your head? That's massive. 

Anyways, a few more tips along the way...

• Set up as much comfort as you can afford for your dilation time. I mentioned previously that I did get the hospital table and, I have to say, it's been an amazing addition. That's one example, but basically whatever makes it easier will really help encourage you to do the "work" as it were.
• I may, or may not, have had a UTI recently (symptoms there, but lab test said negative) and so was on a course of antibiotics. I also started taking Advil and, let me tell you, the anti-inflammatory aspect of Advil has made dilation sooooooo much easier. I mentioned this to my doctor, just for others who may not realize. Bear in mind, though, that you may need to avoid for the first couple of weeks after surgery.
• Scar gel really works. These are big scars, but a month of scar massage, three times daily, with a silicone scar gel has made a noticeable difference. Expensive, but worth it,
• Huggies wipes are packaged better than Pampers. Specifically, the way Huggies has the wipes connected really does make one-handed removal from the package much easier. Outside of that, either is good.
• You can make a saline solution for douching with distilled water. A 4L (1 gallon) jug with 8 teaspoons (measuring spoon, not the spoon you eat breakfast) of salt to make and it typically lasts around 12-13 dilation sessions. Distilled is a time saver vs boiling a large amount of water for 20 minutes.
• I found dish soap specifically formulated for baby bottles, so it's fragrance free and hypoallergenic. It also demolishes the lube on the dilators way better than regular dish soap. It comes in a pump bottle, which I really like.
• Always makes an anti-bunch panty liner that is way better than pads when you get past needing the absorbancy of pads.

I also picked up a copy of The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter. I'll post a review when I am finished, but I can say that so far there is definite value in getting a copy. There is a section for trans people, but beyond that there are still some common things we need to be aware of, just as cis women do.

Finally, my kitty is home again! Everyone who knows me, and knows my cat, will know how big a deal that is to me. She's is incredibly snuggly and sweet. I had missed her terribly. Now she's back and that has been a balm for my heart. 

💜