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Gingersnap Mornings

Yesterday had a rough patch for me, a moment of when I just felt like there was so much that I had to encompass in the moment and I just couldn't.

I can't think of a moment in my past when I have felt the emotional batteries inside of me so rapidly deplete like that. I just couldn't contain it, it was a flurry of questions that I didn't have answers to at my finger tips and I just had to shut down. Shut down, cry a little, drink some tea, and just hold my cat.

So much is happening right now and my mind is hundreds of miles and a little more than a week away from the here and now. It's a big deal and as much as I try not to have my personal intrude into my work, it's an impossibility and so unrealistic of me. I mean, my work is in my home right now too because I am working from home, so pretending they don't intertwine is absurd and yet I still try.

A co-worker reached out, just offering to listen. I almost didn't, but I pushed back on the toxic conditioning that I had grown up with and said that I would love that. We talked for about an hour, it rambled around, much like my thoughts, and in the end I felt my emotional batteries recharge. She was there, at the right time and place, to really make a difference to me. I needed that.

I think I made a mistake in not taking a little time before I go. I'm working right up to the day before I travel and I wonder if I should have chosen differently? I dunno. There's a part of you that welcomes the distraction of the day, but it's such a load on the mind. I guess if I was to do it all again, and that would be sucky because that means a positive covid test, then I probably would take a week before. Well, regardless, by this time next week I am on my way.

This morning, though, was a lot different. It was a very cold morning, we haven't had much of those this winter, and there was a pretty snow fall happening. I am not going out unless absolutely, completely, necessary and so I could sit back and enjoy a breakfast of homemade gingersnaps and coffee. What a happy morning feel that was, just a relaxed moment of self-care and pleasure, warm and watching the snow fall. 

Gingersnap mornings. There's a lot of warmth in that.

Comments

  1. From what I can work out you should be in by now. It is a bit intimidating, and can be uncomfortable, but it is so worth the temporary inconvenience. I know you have written already of what you are most looking forward to, I was very much the same, but after 5 years I am still finding fresh positives that I had never anticipated.

    Hope all goes as well for you as it did for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next week, I'm one week away. I would expect, if I am clear on the PCR test, then I'll be in pre-surgical prep at this time next Monday!

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