Skip to main content

I cannot

Twice, today, I broke down sobbing.

The first was after I watched a video from Rowan Jetté Knox that had devastating news in it, a sign of things to come as bigots step up their attacks on trans youth. 14 years old. Bullied. He couldn't take it any longer. It shattered me.

The second was after reading yet another news article about conservatives pushing school regulations to out vulnerable trans children to their families. This time in Alberta. I so truly, truly, hate conervatives and their supporters. It's a white heat right now.

All of this is just coming to a head inside of me. Hateful marches in our streets. Hateful politicians in the halls of power. Hateful media online and in print. So much hate. So much. Too much. Aimed at people who just want to be happy, to be comfortable in their own bodies. We're hated for that. So many lies told about us. So much vitriol aimed at us. It is so much, it is too much.

And where is my family? My closest is there with me, but what about the rest of them? The ones that say, "I love you" and then do nothing, showing that they do not. Where are they? I am so deeply grateful for the ones truly beside me, but it is the ones who really don't care that hurt so much. The indifference is cutting me very deeply.

So, I cannot.

I deactivated Facebook for now. I have to figure out how, should I choose to go back, I will manage it. I know that one of the things I will have to figure out is, who really is my family. Who are the ones really in my corner.

Until then, I cannot.

Comments

While you're here, you might like:

Brr... and other things you may want to know

So, there is a lot of information out there about HRT, but most of it is quite clinical and deals with subjects like dosage amounts, expected effects, and rough timelines... then there is what you didn't really know and wished someone told you.

I identify as... Stop! It's what I am.

The expression "identifies as" gets used a lot when talking about trans and non-binary people. It's also used by a lot of bigots to denigrate the trans experience. It's an expression that I would like to see fade away.

It's not polite when you get it wrong

I've talked about voice issues before, for many of us in the trans community it remains a major source of frustration and irritation. This is especially true on the phone.