Skip to main content

Sometimes I'm so angry

I emotion bottle way more than I thought I did and it seems to be more obvious to me these days than it ever used to be.

I have a philosophy about work that you need to find a reason, every day, to laugh while you are there. If you can't why are you there? I think, though, that this masks a deeper need for me.

Being at the office feels like I'm stepping out of time and space for a while. Being busy, being focused on my team and what is happening with them distracts me from my internal struggles. However, I don't think I really let it go, I just hold it for later.

When I get angry, it's usually as a result of something I see or hear about. It could be another news article that shows people vilifying us, or governments being needlessly cruel, or just a really bad driver on the road. Whatever it may be, there is always a trigger and then I get angry. It's an internalized anger and it hurts. It's like the day of being forced to maintain a facade comes undone and I have to channel it in some way. Sometimes that's being a little more curt in my responses to things on Twitter or Facebook, sometimes it's just writing it down on my computer and then letting it go.

Still, I feel like it's happening more and more. I really would like to stop hurting.

Comments

While you're here, you might like:

I am so angry at the harm

I don't know how else to put it. I am furious.

I will cut people out of my life for this

The Conservative Party of Canada just voted to added blocks on gender affirming medical care for trans kids and to end race-based hiring. I'm done being polite to people in my life when it comes to this.

Bill Mahar is weak

The surest sign of a weak man is a man who feels the need to assert his manliness to the world. Bill Mahar is a weak man.