My mind is still having a hard time comprehending that in one month I'll be in and then recovering from GCS.
Like I mentioned the other day, the whole timeline was very much out of the blue. I went from having no idea on Monday, to being scheduled for in a month on Wednesday. Less than 24 hours after my confirmation, train tickets, pcr test, and accommodations were booked. By the end of the day today, I had either all of necessary care supplies delivered or on their way (there is a lot).
Apparently I'm anxious to get going, my sister had joked that I'd be packed by the weekend. Not quite, but she's not entirely wrong either!
I was talking to a couple of cis women friends today and commented that after all that had happened in the early fall, I turned my focus to self care. A big part of that was in preparation for this moment, but I really did expect that it would be so much later in the year. It's all good, I do feel very ready, I've been waiting for a very long time for this.
We all have a few flashes of doubt, I would expect, but I find myself pacing and anxiously thinking about what else I need to get ready and it is then I really realize that this is what I need at a much deeper level. I know me and I know that once I have something I care about planned, I get very antsy about everything I need for it and the time in between then and now. Why so long? I'm good now! What if I get sick?
I think, despite the time taking me by surprise, that I am grateful it is so close. I joked to my sister with "aren't you glad it's just 1 month of an anxious sister and not 9?!" (she said yes, otherwise she'd start day drinking, lol)
I am really so incredibly happy that my mom and sister are coming with me. There is a lot of completion in that, I think. My mom, of course, for my rebirth and my sister who carried this, no longer, secret of mine for decades. I'm really lucky.
And it's a month away. 😳 💜 🏳️⚧️
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